


I love you, goodbye

by yetti



Series: AkaKuro short Stories [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Complete, Drama, M/M, Romance, arhghhh, better don't read, i screwd, if you like akashi, once you read to the end., phew!, why am I even writing this fic anyway?, you might hate me or even kill me(smirk)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yetti/pseuds/yetti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't until he met that cerulean haired guy, and Akashi fainted a smile again...for one last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was brought to you by:
> 
> Kleenex tissue paper(they're disposable)
> 
> Armani hanky/ victoria's secret lady hankerchief(they're classy)
> 
> sidewalks hanky(they're cheap and affordable.)
> 
> But please don't hate me!

 

Tetsuya slowly sat on the ground coated with the green leaf-canopy, placing a basket of blue hyacinth beside the cold sturdy stone. He took the journal inside of the basket and placed it under his lap. In a near frown, he sighed more of an exhausted and tad bit sad expression. He turned his eyes away from the cold stone and with trembling fingers he wiped a tear as it rolled down his pale cheeks. He realized he was sad and missed him as the tears running down his face in a silent torrent. This wasn't supposed to happening to him, bearing alone the torment. His heart pounded at the thought of even how many days, months, or years may passed, yet looking at this journal and reading it over and over again, he couldn't help but to long for his embrace. 

Embrace that won't happen again, not in a million years to come.

For the life of him, a million years didn't seem like very long because that was all he was going to have with him. Even if it's a dream.

First of all, he loved him. He loved him for who he was, not because he was the mighty Akashi who ruled at everyone's heart. He loved him not because Akashi loved him but because he always cared for him until his end. That even in his deathbed, he was all he'd cared about, oblivious of his own life, his own happiness.

He thought about the first time they'd met. It seemed it was like only yesterday. He thought about all the things they had done together, all the times he stood watch while he played basketball, and Akashi gazed at him, with much love illuminating around his crimson eyes. He couldn't bear not to look at him, yet meeting those penetrating eyes, it was like a hot knife searing into his heart.

He took no joy upon wandering his sight into the green grass, unfurling ferns, budding trees. The day was warm, compared to what the weather had been for springs, so far, and the sky brooded with white cotton clouds. But for him sitting on the leaf canopy as if he was like deadwood, silent, sullen, staring at nothing. How many days has it been? Or how many months had been passed? 

He sniffed. Then flipped the journal open and begin to read.

 

_Monday 03, 20xx_

_It was the first day of the school year, and maybe I had to get fun with my friends. Well, there's nothing unusual though, but I feel like having a good moment today._

_And I was right._

_I met someone, someone that illuminates a flushing skyblue aura around him. He's someone to be much respected, of course, I'm going to psyche about it. He seems mellow, and he had a sweet scent it tingled my nose._

_And he made an epic introduction of himself._

_"I am Kuroko Tetsuya desu, yoroshiko onegaisimasu!"_

_I am flustered by his flat tone, his face said it all. But what made it epic was when he continue and said;_

_"Please don't fall inlove with me."_

_Everyone can't hold back and burst in laughter. Even our teacher didn't hide his poker face. But how the entire classroom suddenly laughed, a sudden silence lingered when he draw his  next sentence._

_"That red eyes of yours won't trick and fall for me," he said as he pointed his finger at me._

_All were stunned speechless. Heads tilted towards me as I puckered my eyebrows amusingly. I groped my face and started to quiver, I didn't noticed it myself but I was laughing. I don't know what made the class froze, is it because of what that transferee said or is it because I laughed? Matters not, I think because for how many months I haven't smiled at all, my classmates were flabbergasted by my sudden reaction._

_Well, I think I met my other half._

_______

_Friday, 07_

_We had a drama class meeting today, and I was grouped with Tetsuya, the new student. We were going to enact the famous story of Romeo and Juliet, but we have a problem. The group has no lady member to act as Juliet, and it seemed like all of us had one thing in mind. That guy, if you won't do such perfect scrutiny, someone would mistook him a lady in short hair. Our gazes flicked towards Tetsuya and to our unexpected surprised, he nodded willingly. Without any second thought, we can't tell if his eyes smoulders vaguely._

_But then he will act only in one condition._

_I will be acting as his Romeo._

_Hesitation won't do any good with our group, and all I have to do is to agree._

_______

_Sunday, 09_

_Our first practiced held in my house. We were overwhelmed by Tetsuya's enactment. He was a genius, well, of course I won't lose to him. I gave all my best in cadence with his paced._

_But in the middle of our practice, I fainted._

_Everybody knew but Tetsuya. I am sick. An illness that no longer can be save, it was rapidly spreading throughout my whole body  in just a short span of time._

_And my days were coming through. Yet, meeting someone I had started to liked, I felt the fear. The fear of loving someone whom I will leave behind in the end._

_But I couldn't hold up my emotion, my feelings towards him grew as days go by. How can I be cruel if I have to let him know? Or say, would he even return my feelings?_

_But even so._

_I'm sure this time, I like Tetsuya. But, oh, god._

_______

_Thursday, 16_

_It's the second to the last day of practiced, and we held it at the school's theatre hall. For the past days, I came to know him. He's not what I actually thought he is. He is a very lovable person, the sweetest of that kind. Caring, cheerful, though it doesn't reflect on his face. And, oh boy, when he smiles, I just thought the world collapse infront of me._

_Clairvoyant, is he a psychic? Did he just guessed or was it instinct that made him said not to fall in love with him, especially me? Did he detected that if I was going to love him or let him fall for me, that I was going to leave him in the end?_

_How come I was so hurt? Why does my heart's clenching? I haven't even told him properly but I'm sure he got a hunched. I was not so discreet in showing my affection towards him. And everyone of my group had already been noticing the way I looked at him. How I was fascinated by his every motion, and yet I was so agitated with my own determination._

 _____

_Sunday 19_

_It's the last day of practiced. And I tell to myself, this is it, I'm gonna confess!_

_But how will I say it?_

_During the practice, I felt restless and my eyes kept on glancing at him. And when his beautiful blue eyes met my crimson oases, I looked away._

_But one of our group mate whispered to my ears; "Aren't you gonna confess?"_

_I looked at him with suspicion but he raised his hands as if he was defeated. "I know you liked him, so go on." he smiled at me. And obliviously, my lips curved into a small thin smile, but just barely. I breathed deep, and with couraged that filled me in, I darted towards him._

_"You have something to tell me, Akashi-kun?"_

_I swallowed before I nodded and said:_

_"How would you like to hear a song from me?"_

_Crap._

_Crap the shit out of me!_

_At the corner of my eyes, my groupmates were gigling. And it made me irritated, embarrassed. I looked back at Tetsuya, I saw confusion in his eyes as he puckered his eyebrows. But he spoke after that, in his usual flat tone._

_"Oh, sure, why not? I would love to hear your voice."_

_The me who had screwd, grabbed a guitar and infront of him, I sang._

_My love is unconditional,_

_I'll tell you from the start_

_You can see it in my eyes,_

_You can feel it from your heart_

_From here on after, let's stay just where_

_we are,_

_And share all the laughter_

_that a lifetime will allow_

 

_I cross my heart, and promise too_

_give all I got to give to_

_make all you dreams come true_

_And all the world, you'll never find_

_A love that's true_

_as mine._

_You were always be a miracle_

_you made my life complete,_

_and as long as there's a breath in me_

_I'll make yours just as sweet,_

_and as we look into the future_

_as far as we can see,_

_So let's make each tomorrow_

_the love as we...can be_

_"How was it?" I asked Tetsuya while scratching the back of my head._

_But his reply got me froze._

_"Are you confessing to me, Akashi-kun?"_

_I wasn't able to answer him. So he continued._

_"You're so slow,"_

_"Huh?, What do you mean?"_

_That day, Tetsuya said:_

_"I like you too, Akashi-kun."_

 _______________________

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

_Friday, 24_

_Because life has been smooth and pleasant, I saw the shock in my lover's face that eventually turned into as white as a paper.  During our performance last Tuesday, my illness suddenly attacked me until I fainted from deliberately pain. I was sent to the hospital. And Tetsuya found out about it._

_I  couldn't speak at all. I have no voice to talk to him. I was to blame. If I hadn't confessed to him, if I hadn't told him I like him, he must not experience this kind of cruelty. Yes, I'm cruel for liking him. For him to like me._

_I understand when he didn't talked to me within three days, when he didn't come and visit me, and check if I'm still alive or dead. I understand how he feels. I know he was hurt. He was hurt because I betrayed him. But I don't hate him for that. I hated myself instead._

_How I'd wish he didn't appeared infront of me._

_How I'd wish I never met him at all._

_But,_

 

_Tetsuya, I really miss you. Will you come and visit me? Please, I'm begging you...._

_______

_Saturday 25_

_I've got home._

_But Tetsuya never appeared, I was very lonely. I was sad, but what can I do? Could this be the end for us? I haven't even enjoyed our time together, it was only a very short term relationship afterall._

_I'm an idiot. Stupid. For allowing myself to fall inlove._

_Do you hate me now?_

_I understand but, can you come and see me one last time?_

_Please?_

_______

_Sunday 02_

_My heart leapt._

_I thought you completely forgot about me, but you came. And all the sadness in my heart disappeared in just one heart beat. Though I hate the fact you see me in this state, importantly, you showed yourself to me. My wish had granted. Even if you say goodbye now, even if you say it's over between us now, my soul won't be restless anymore._

_In contrast with my expectation, you implied something healthy into my heart and into my thoughts. You said something that made my mind stop to function, I was so flustered I couldn't speak._

_"Akashi-kun, please allow me to take care of you. Please let me stay with you._

_Is it just me or the world's going to collapse? I am not deaf, right? And who wouldn't want his lover to stay with you?_

_Only idiots do._

_______

_Thursday, 06_

_It's my weekly check up, Tetsuya went with me to the hospital. Dad was not here and attending another meeting and is out of the country. It doesn't matter anymore to me even he's not here, he's always been like that. It's only another burden if I see him crumbling down with me._

_In the last days I was gotten worse, nothing could be done to me anymore. The mere fact I was only waiting for my fateful day. I glanced out an east window and saw the first rays of the morning sun coming inside the horizon. I saw gathering clouds from the west, I knew, I won't be able to see full moon tonight._

_My doctor said it's better for me to stay in the hospital, I don't like it. It only makes me even more sick seeing white walls, white curtains, white tables, white gowns, everything's white that my eyes will also turn white soon. And here comes Tetsuya wearing....white shirts? I skeptically laughed._

_"Do you not really want to stay in the hospital, Sei?" my Tetsuya asked me._

_I smiled and answered him with a silent shake of my head. There's no reason for me to stay there any longer, my days are coming through. The only thing they could at least do is delaying my departure for a couples of days, or just barely hours. So, what's the point?_

_"Can you not...do it for me?" I saw Tetsuya's face turned grey, his eyes got misty. I know what he means, but it will only prolong our griefs._

_Wouldn't it be better if it will come fast and easily? That way, he can also recover fast from my gone existence. Right, Tetsuya?_

_This is my will, just stay with me in my house, until my breath will escape me._

_______

_Wednesday, 16_

_Last night, my illness visited me._

_It was painful. Damn dead painful._

_Unbearable._

_The medicines for calming me won't eased the pain anymore, even if I took numbers of it have no effect till I banged my head on the bed._

_Unknowingly, I was screaming loud._

_Tetsuya came rushing to my room and attend to me. He hugged me close to his body._

_Closer. Tighter._

_While I was softly banging my head against his chest. I never knew until I felt my own tears rolling down my cheeks, to my mouth tasting the bitter salt crystaline liquid. I never knew I was gritting my teeth and my lips till it bleeds._

_I coughed._

_And at one blow, blood oozed through my mouth and my nose._

_I'm sorry, Tetsuya, I got you dirty._

_But my body froze when I saw his face, clamping lips, close tight eyes, as his tears pours down like rain along his pale cheeks. I don't know anymore who's body was trembling, this time, I really got feared. Scared._

_Scared of my death._

_I want to live. Oh, god! Please let me live!_

_I want to grow old with him, die with him._

_Please, give me some more years to be with him._

_______

_Saturday, 28_

_Before dark has come to engulf the daylight, I asked Tetsuya to lead me outside the porch._

_I will probably become a laughing stock if my friends will see Tetsuya scooping my boney weak body up and put me down on the wheelchair. I want to sit beside him, while we watch the setting of the sun_

_This might be my last time seeing how beautifully the sun bury it's rays under the ground. No one knows if mister moon will come to me tonight and say goodnight then, I wouldn't know if tomorrow's morning sun will ever smile and greet me again._

_Reaching the porch, Tetsuya help me stand and put me down on the porchstairs. Then, he sat beside me. I felt his hands pulling my head near him and leaned it to his shoulder. I silently closed my eyes for a second and feel the warmth of it_

_._

_"It's beautiful, right, Sei?" I heard him say._

_I opened my eyes and saw the velvet sky streaked with honey clouds, the slow floating camaraderie of the canaries up the air, carefree._

_"Yes, it's beautiful." the words didn't almost escaped from my dry throat._

_The gentle breeze blew and brushes my face, solemnly. I heard the clacking sounds of the branches of the cherry blossom tree near us, it's leaves pour down like rain forming a wide green canopy on the ground._

_Such nice feelings, but this is my fate._

_I slowly touched Tetsuya's hands, cupped them, clasped with mine together._

_When will I ever get to hold you in my arms again?_

_Next hundred years? Million years?_

_I lifted both our hands, softly kiss his palms, his knuckles, his fingers, his nails._

_Ah, they tasted sweet. Sweet as Tetsuya._

_"Hey, Tetsuya." I whispered._

_"Hmmm??"_

_"When I'm gone, please don't forget me."_

_"What are you saying? You're here beside me, I'm beside you. That's the most important now." Tetsuya said. But I know, those looks on his mystied eyes says otherwise._

_"Yeah, you're right." I softly murmurred._

_"Sei, I love you.." and I felt his hands clasping mine so tight._

_"I know. Tetsuya, will you live happy for me?"_

_"Yes, of course." his voice was muffled by knots on his throat and he's trying to be cheerful so I won't noticed it._

_"I'm tired. Let me sleep for a while,"_

_"Okay, just rest your body with mine, Sei. I will take care of you."_

_"Thank....you..."and my mind drifted to the promise land._

_This could probably be also my last letter to you, so Tetsuya, please take care of yourself and live your life to your heart's content. Let your heart feel again the essence of love, although I may not be there anymore, I will be always watching you from up above._

_Did you know that you are the only person I ever love this much?_

________

Tetsuya wiped the tears flowing from his eyes, no matter how many days, months, years will come and go, his memories will always stay in his heart. Even how many people he'll meet, he will always be the only one. Even if their time together was rather short, he'll treasure it beyond.

He lifted his face and stared at the sky, darkness has slowly embracing the ground yet he doesn't want to leave the place. It's been six months and everyday he ain't getting tired of visiting the graveyard where Seijuro's new home now until forever.

Tetsuya touched softly the hard, rough and cold stone grave where Seijuro lies. It's been three days since his last visit and the flowers from before were now withered and all petals were scattered on top of the grave. He bought another one and put them on the same place.

He breath deep. It's time to go home.

"I don't want to go back yet and leave you alone here, Sei. It hurts me so much everytime I turn my back on you. But I have to, life is not that easy now. As what you want me to be, I will live happy and I will never forget you. How about you, are you happy where ever you are now?"

A cold wind gusted through him as if giving him an answer, it softly touched his face, rustled his  hair to everywhere. And then a warm breeze embraced him, caressed his skin, soothed him.

He flicked the journal and turned it to the last page, there he read, Seijuro's parting words.

 

_My dear Tetsuya,_

_When the time comes, in the other side of the world I am always there, my arms are waiting for you._

_I love you, always and forever._

_See you, and....goodbye._

_______________________

_**ETERNITY**  
_

_How long my heart shall wait_

_for me to be with you just for a fate_

_It's funny how silence speaks sometimes_

_When dreaming I'm guided through another life_

 

_Up high I'm not strong enough to leave the stream_

_Cause every river I take brings me farther to my dream_

_The harder I try to get away_

_The more I get lost than yesterday_

 

_My thoughts kept me think something in my life_

_as I cross this life above a lake of fire_

_Blinded by the silence of my broken heart_

_can't seem to find a way, they're so far apart_

 

_Sometimes  I wish to be a butterfly_

_with you we'll reach and touch the sky_

_Although strong winds may ruin our journey_

_A rainbow of hopes will float eternity._

 

_arieyeti lim._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't particular with the dates, Tetsuya was just reading some pages of Seijuro's journal.
> 
> just read between the lines.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking to put the fraudy husband on hiatus....


End file.
